All Over the Place
(Cross-posted at Damsels In Success)
I’m a bit frazzled and discombobulated lately. There’s so much going on around me and in my brain that I’m having trouble latching onto the now and being HERE. Instead, I’m bouncing around from one thing to another, not really getting much done, and not enjoying what I’m doing, either.
The ideas are flowing: 1. Start this; 2. Do that; 3. Go there; 4. Write another one of those; 5. Research; 6. Submit… The list goes on and on and on. I keep reassuring myself that one day there will be more time, more energy, more, more, more. But the reality is: what I have is what I have. I need to start–no, WANT to start–taking advantage of that instead of holding out for the more that never comes. I want to read more, write more, finish more often–NOW. I want to be consistent, disciplined and dedicated to the things I love rather than choosing to spend my time doing things that I tolerate only for the sake of this or that.
I think I fear that discipline will stop me from being creative and taking on new things, though.
I love starting new things. I just don’t seem to be very good with follow-through these days. I’m not one to give up on my projects, it just tends to take me more time than I ever expected to get them to the finish line. I’m working on this.
I truly love writing and I want to get back to that feeling of excitement that I used to get when I sat down at a blank screen or opened a fresh notebook. I don’t want to become stifled by “have tos” and “should haves”. I want to be inspired but I also want to be disciplined.
I’m working on strategies to address these things. I’m practicing being in the present and part of that, for me, is understanding that situations aren’t always comfortable or satisfying. I have accepted that I am at a place of discomfort, a place where I’m not happy with how I’m choosing to live my writing life. Now, I’m ready to change it and start writing out loud again.
Are you with me? Are you ready to accept where you are so that you can move forward to the next stop on your journey? Feel free to share your struggles in the comments (they don’t necessarily have to be writing-related) so that I know I’m not alone. Or if you’re already satisfied with the place you’re at, please share how you got there so that we can all learn from your successes.
Posted in writing in general
February 10th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
“I love starting new things. I just don’t seem to be very good with follow-through these days. I’m not one to give up on my projects, it just tends to take me more time than I ever expected to get them to the finish line. I’m working on this.”
Girl, if I didn’t already have an identical twin, you could be her. :)
February 10th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
I appreciate your honesty. I have missed your posts. I just found this quote by Ben Stein: “The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.”
I have just figured out in the last year what I really want and I am getting rid of the other “weights” that are keeping me back. I hope you and I both can stay focused on what do want…and go get it. :-)
February 11th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Angie – Have I told you how much I love you lately? :) Thanks for the smile, and for reminding me that as alone as I feel in my struggles, there’s always someone else going through similar things.
Beth – I’ve missed my posts, too. :) Thanks for sharing that quote. I needed it. Let’s go after those things we really want and not stop until we get them! Glad to have you along for the ride.
February 15th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
oh, ami. i feel this loud and clear. LOUD AND CLEAR! bah bah bah.
February 16th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Ami, go easy on yourself.
The last thing you need to do is beat yourself up about the fact that things aren’t working as you’d like them to.
You talk about getting rid of the “shoulds” and “oughts” and of stopping tolerating the things that no longer serve you well – that’s all well and good but please don’t replace them with another bunch of “shoulds” and “oughts”.
Sometimes the answers take time to come, so the thing to do is give yourself enough time and space for things to take shape. Other times, it’s just a case of looking at what’s missing today, right now. Then going and doing something about it.
Let us know how it goes.
February 16th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
patresa – Thanks for sympathizing.
Steve – That’s great advice. I don’t want to beat myself up, but I do want to reach my goals by making choices each day that will get me there. Not piling up a list of “shoulds” or “oughts”, but reminding myself of where I want to be and getting stuff done in the now that will get me there. Thanks for the reminder to give myself space and time to let things work themselves out.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Hi Ami, yes, I know exactly where you are coming from, I think it is a common problem, and not just you (that was said to make you feel better, not belittling your ‘issue).
The best remedy for this ailment is unfortunately discipline. And as soon as you mentioned fear in a sentence, well I knew what you were up against.
It is a deception that discipline will hamper your creativity. Discipline in writing i.e. just sitting down and starting to write something, will unleash your creativity and produce results.
NANOWRIMO is a great example of how this discipline works. And you know this, huh, don’t need me to tell you.
Just prioritize what needs to be done first (go for a walk and take your notebook, it is harder at your desk), don’t, whatever you do, listen to your head and definitely not your emotions. Just make the decision, tell your head to shut up, and get on with it, and hey presto – achievement.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Susy – It’s funny that you mention that discipline is the best remedy and that it will release my creativity, because I actually wrote a guest post about that a while back for Confident Writing. Maybe I need to go back and reread my own advice. :)
April 9th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
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